Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
