so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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