I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize