I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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