There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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