Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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