I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
