Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
