The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
