Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
