it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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