Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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