I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
