For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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