How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
