are you still at the devil's house?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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