So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
