Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
