She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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