You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
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