Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
