Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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