I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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