i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
There's a naked man in my car right now.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
