Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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