I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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