I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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