I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I wish i was in the wii world.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
