i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
