So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
