Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
