It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
