i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
