oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
