After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
