What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
