'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
