This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
