If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
