I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
