I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize