I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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