i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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