Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize