just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
