Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
