Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
