Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
