hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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