trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
