sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
