ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize