i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
