I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Acid is not a monday night drug
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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