So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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