She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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