there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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