Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
