I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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