so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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