My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
