Dual....:-)
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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