You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize