was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
