I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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