Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I booty called her while she was in labor.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
