Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize