i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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