Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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