You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
