the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
