happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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