All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
