That's when you crack a 10am beer
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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