we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
