so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
