Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
