Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
